I am here and writing.
Well, I have decided to return to the blogger world. I never really wanted to leave, but I had let myself get wrapped up in my 2 jobs. So, I am going to do a quick catchup for any people who still check this out. And for the record, if I was reading your blog before when I was writing, I continued to read it even when I wasn't writing. Just so you guys out there know.
Let's See. Where would I like to begin? Okay, I will begin with what has become my life.
Work.
I am currently working two jobs. I am still working at Best Buy, and the number of hours varies (4-12). I do actually like working there at times. I have good days and bad days, but that is the same anywhere. My full time job is the florist. I have decided to start blogging for the shop so I will update with a link in the future. I work there fulltime (40-50(and up) hours). I only get over 45 or so for holidays like Mother's Day which turned out to be not so bad. I have had one day off this whole month (today). I received a text message saying my schedule had been changed; I was supposed to work today. So, at the florist, I do arrangements and everything else in running the shop. The pictures from a month or so ago were of my first attempts at arrangements. I can already look at them and think they are disasters. So, I am getting better, but I am also having problems. I am trying to learn so much about flowers, plants, management, etc that it is tiresome. The shop isn't doing as well as I need it to or want it to. I don't know how to 'fix' it. I am considering taking a class to improve my work. Another thing. The shop is owned by a close family friend. So, when I don't do well, I feel like I am letting down this family. The emotional tie I have is not good from a business stand point. But it is an opportunity that I would never have had otherwise. More will follow about work later.
Health
My mental health is not good. It's bad actually. Everyday something happens in my mind that I wish wouldn't. I am letting it consume me. I have decided to persue treatment again. Much to my regret. I am not eating healthy either, as it seems my car lives in a drive thru lane. I have decided, however, to get my body in shape and am currently considering joining a gym to help get myself on the right track.
Hobbies
Well, I am not reading at the moment. I manage to get thru the sales paper section of my Sunday paper usually by Friday. And I read old floral magazines about arrangements, flowers, and product availability. As far as the photography, it comes and it goes. I want to take my life back. I think reading and taking pictures was something that kept me sane, which at the moment I cannot say I am. I am still interested in the arts and have seen the ballet again. I am loving Miller Outdoor right now and hope to make it to a few things in June even if I am flying solo.
Relationships
Well, some things change, and some never do. For me, it is the latter. I am happy, I guess. I want something I will never have. And as time goes on, I begin to think less of what I want and try to find some happiness in what I have. I am now happy to say completely over my ex. Wow, after some 3 years. Hahah. So pathetic. This situation I am in now helped me walk away from the unhealthy attachment I had to the past. But I worry if I have found myself in a recurring pattern. I continue to see other people but as friends. God knows that I couldn't handle being in a real relationship even if I wanted one. I have too many things going on in my head that it would be a struggle. And the idea of giving up what little I do have with this guy I have grown to love is something that I don't want to consider at the current time.
Well, there is so much more to share with you few readers, but it isn't going to happen today. I would say check back soon. I miss writing to you guys and sharing my crazy world. I am going to get my life in order. And if working 2 jobs, working out at the gym, eating better, taking my crazy pills, fighting my budget, reading, sleeping with one guy while dating others casually, taking pictures, and blogging is what I have to do than so be it.
With that, I think I am out.
Song Recommendations:
Anna Nalick: Wreck of The Day: Breathe (2am)
Natasha Bedingfield: Unwritten: Single
Jason Mraz: Waiting for My Rocket to Come: You and I Both
Have you found videos or links that no longer work? Sorry for that. I would check them every once and a while, but it does take time. Time I don't have. All links will be checked from this point. Thanks.
2 comments:
Hey there, sorry to hear your going back to treatment. I don't know if its something anybody ever gets over. But I hope you get better, and I know you will at arrangements. Like Mario tells me, I think too much about things and it gets me in trouble. I make the easiest things in the world difficult by thinking too much. So try that and see how it woks, see if you do better by not doing it too much.
as for healthy eating, get some fruits and veggies and nuts, and make your own tacos instead of buying them. Probably better in the long run, and you can make up your own kind.
I know I have a gf, but I care about you too as a friend. And you know how I feel about your dating stuff so I won't say anything. But I still believe you will find the one guy you will only date and stop sleeping for. He's there and it will come. I've found mine and believe we will make it, and I know you will too.
Well she got me thinking about school as well as Mario. Wanted a trade, but never looked into it because my fam kept getting on the thing about transferring credits. And going with Mario's point of view, who gives a crap. I graduate and make a lot of money, that won't matter anymore. And if I don't move up, hey I'm still making a lot, so that's what I'm going for. Been looking at ITT. Like taking things apart, its just getting them back together... And I took some drafting in school and my teach thought I was really good, so I could do that. So many things to choose from. Will probably wait till January or around there.
Well, I hope all is well. As for all the stuff you wrote, don't settle. You'll get it together and everything will fall into place. Goodbye for now and take care.
Your friend far away, LOL!
Tim
Hey kiddoe, how are you? All's good here. Getting freaky around here. yet again today, I had this woman ask me if there was still validation. What's so weird about it? She looked exactly like you. This is the second person we've seen at the store who looks exactly like you. Freaky man. Now you know you have two twins out there. LOL! Hope all is good with you. Later.
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