I am here and writing.
Well, I have decided to return to the blogger world. I never really wanted to leave, but I had let myself get wrapped up in my 2 jobs. So, I am going to do a quick catchup for any people who still check this out. And for the record, if I was reading your blog before when I was writing, I continued to read it even when I wasn't writing. Just so you guys out there know.
Let's See. Where would I like to begin? Okay, I will begin with what has become my life.
Work.
I am currently working two jobs. I am still working at Best Buy, and the number of hours varies (4-12). I do actually like working there at times. I have good days and bad days, but that is the same anywhere. My full time job is the florist. I have decided to start blogging for the shop so I will update with a link in the future. I work there fulltime (40-50(and up) hours). I only get over 45 or so for holidays like Mother's Day which turned out to be not so bad. I have had one day off this whole month (today). I received a text message saying my schedule had been changed; I was supposed to work today. So, at the florist, I do arrangements and everything else in running the shop. The pictures from a month or so ago were of my first attempts at arrangements. I can already look at them and think they are disasters. So, I am getting better, but I am also having problems. I am trying to learn so much about flowers, plants, management, etc that it is tiresome. The shop isn't doing as well as I need it to or want it to. I don't know how to 'fix' it. I am considering taking a class to improve my work. Another thing. The shop is owned by a close family friend. So, when I don't do well, I feel like I am letting down this family. The emotional tie I have is not good from a business stand point. But it is an opportunity that I would never have had otherwise. More will follow about work later.
Health
My mental health is not good. It's bad actually. Everyday something happens in my mind that I wish wouldn't. I am letting it consume me. I have decided to persue treatment again. Much to my regret. I am not eating healthy either, as it seems my car lives in a drive thru lane. I have decided, however, to get my body in shape and am currently considering joining a gym to help get myself on the right track.
Hobbies
Well, I am not reading at the moment. I manage to get thru the sales paper section of my Sunday paper usually by Friday. And I read old floral magazines about arrangements, flowers, and product availability. As far as the photography, it comes and it goes. I want to take my life back. I think reading and taking pictures was something that kept me sane, which at the moment I cannot say I am. I am still interested in the arts and have seen the ballet again. I am loving Miller Outdoor right now and hope to make it to a few things in June even if I am flying solo.
Relationships
Well, some things change, and some never do. For me, it is the latter. I am happy, I guess. I want something I will never have. And as time goes on, I begin to think less of what I want and try to find some happiness in what I have. I am now happy to say completely over my ex. Wow, after some 3 years. Hahah. So pathetic. This situation I am in now helped me walk away from the unhealthy attachment I had to the past. But I worry if I have found myself in a recurring pattern. I continue to see other people but as friends. God knows that I couldn't handle being in a real relationship even if I wanted one. I have too many things going on in my head that it would be a struggle. And the idea of giving up what little I do have with this guy I have grown to love is something that I don't want to consider at the current time.
Well, there is so much more to share with you few readers, but it isn't going to happen today. I would say check back soon. I miss writing to you guys and sharing my crazy world. I am going to get my life in order. And if working 2 jobs, working out at the gym, eating better, taking my crazy pills, fighting my budget, reading, sleeping with one guy while dating others casually, taking pictures, and blogging is what I have to do than so be it.
With that, I think I am out.
Song Recommendations:
Anna Nalick: Wreck of The Day: Breathe (2am)
Natasha Bedingfield: Unwritten: Single
Jason Mraz: Waiting for My Rocket to Come: You and I Both
Have you found videos or links that no longer work? Sorry for that. I would check them every once and a while, but it does take time. Time I don't have. All links will be checked from this point. Thanks.
